We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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