About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just took my morning after pill in the library
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
