Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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