My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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