I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
