you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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