you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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