I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
