i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
