if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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