My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
