Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
