I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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