I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just had sex on a roof
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
