Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
