if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
