i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
