How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
