i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
