He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
