if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Barsexuality is the new black.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
