so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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