Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
