just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
pray to the hookup gods
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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