I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
