I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
