DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
worst night to have a conscience
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm having to shit out rocks
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
