I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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