the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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