Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize