Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
