Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
