If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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