Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
