Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
