I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I showed him my bush... on skype.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
