I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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