so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
