He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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