Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
