She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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