just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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