So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
