i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
