His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Pooping to opera.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
