Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
