Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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