maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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