how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
