he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
