just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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