I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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