i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this will be a night to untag.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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