lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
